How I Built My Speaking Confidence (And How You Can Too)

If you’ve ever felt a lump in your throat before going live, fumbled through your notes during a presentation, or wondered if your voice was "enough," you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. And I want to offer you something real:

Confidence in speaking isn’t something you magically wake up with. It’s something you build, piece by piece, moment by moment.

What Confidence Actually Means

The word "confidence" comes from the Latin confidere, meaning "to trust." So when we talk about speaking confidence, we’re really talking about self-trust. The ability to trust your voice, your energy, your ideas, your truth.

And no, this doesn’t mean you always feel ready. It means you’re willing to show up anyway.

Confidence Doesn’t Look the Same for Everyone

Early in my journey, I used to script every single word. I’d blue-tack my notes to the window, practice it all verbatim, and try to get it right. That was my version of training wheels. And it helped me take those first wobbly steps.

Eventually, I let go of the scripts. I found new tools. Today, my earrings, my makeup, a well-lit space, and a cup of tea are all part of my speaker presence. They help me feel like me.

So I want to ask you: What helps you feel safe enough to speak?

Confidence doesn’t require you to mimic someone else. It asks you to find your way in.

What Goes Into Your Speaker Toolkit

Here are a few things that have helped me, and that might support you too:

• A wardrobe that feels like power and comfort
• A calming breath before hitting “record” or stepping on stage
• A playlist that activates the version of you who doesn’t hold back
• Clarity in your message (not perfection—just truth)
• Boundaries around your prep time and post-speaking recovery

The more you collect what works, the more anchored you’ll feel.

One Final Truth

Even the greats, Oprah, Brené, Tony, have their own rituals and resources.

Your confidence isn’t lacking. It’s evolving. Let it.