Overexplaining Is Costing Women Leaders Their Power: Here’s How to Stop

You’ve just said something that’s true, important, maybe even powerful…
But instead of letting it land, you rush in with:
"What I mean is…",
"Just to clarify…",
"I hope this makes sense…"

That, my love, is the reflex of overexplaining.
And it’s costing brilliant women their impact, every single day.

I see this all the time in high-capacity, heart-led women. And I’ve done it too. I still do sometimes.
Especially when I care deeply about the message.

But over explaining doesn’t make you clearer... it makes you smaller.
It subtly teaches people to second-guess you.
And it reinforces the false belief that your words, your voice, and your knowing need permission to exist.

Why Women Leaders over explain (Even When They’re Experienced)

Over explaining isn’t a clarity issue.
It’s a conditioning issue.

Many of us were raised explicitly or implicitly to be:

• Polite

• Non-disruptive

• Easy to understand

• “Nice”

We learned early that directness could be seen as bossy, emotional, or too much.
So we learned to pad our power in disclaimers.

Add to that years (or decades) of working in spaces that rewarded agreeability over authority, and it makes sense why we second-guess ourselves even now, as fully grown, wildly capable, deeply wise women.

This isn’t just a communication quirk.
It’s a survival strategy that’s outdated.

How Over explaining Shows Up in Leadership

It sneaks in through the cracks — even when we think we’re showing up “clearly.”
You might be:

• Repeating your offer multiple times on a sales call to “make sure they understand”

• Giving team feedback, then softening it with “just suggestions, of course”

• Posting content online but spiraling into paragraphs of disclaimers

• Sharing a bold opinion, then following it with “I hope this doesn’t offend anyone…”

Sound familiar?

The result?
Your message gets watered down.
Your leadership feels wobbly.
And worst of all — your nervous system learns that being seen is unsafe.

Over explaining Is Not Leadership — It’s Self-Doubt in Disguise

Let’s name it clearly:
Over explaining is a nervous habit born from fear, not a leadership trait.

And it’s a habit that can be unlearned.

You do not need to justify your expertise.
You do not need to explain your truth five different ways.
You do not need to sound palatable to be powerful.

Leadership is presence, not perfection.
Your voice doesn’t need a permission slip.

So, How Do We Stop Over explaining?

This is not about shutting down your nuance or being coldly direct.
This is about reclaiming intentional, embodied clarity, the kind that resonates deeply.

Here’s where to begin:

1. Practice the Power of the Pause

Before you speak, ask:
👉 What’s the clearest, most direct way I can say this?
Then say it.
Then stop.

Let the silence do the heavy lifting.
Let your words echo instead of apologizing for them.

2. Anchor Your Nervous System

Place your hand on your heart.
Breathe.
Remind yourself:
✨ “My words are worthy.”
✨ “My presence is powerful.”
✨ “I do not need to explain my truth.”

This embodied grounding shifts you out of proving and into presence.

3. Notice Your Filler Phrases

Become aware of the moments you say:

• “Does that make sense?”

• “Just to be clear…”

• “I don’t mean to sound too direct…”

Start editing them out. You’ll feel the difference immediately.

You don’t need to be more palatable.
You need to be more you.

And that version of you, the one who trusts her voice and lets her message land, is the leader this world needs.